Today has been a strange energy day – yet another one this week. Perhaps it’s the sunshine – light tends to highlight the dust and cracks in things. Or maybe it is something else entirely.

It feels as if something is changing…I know that I certainly am. My body has been telling me that my life is coming back on the inside of my gut – in the spaces and places it has been depleted for so long.

I am not always certain that I am feeling or sensing these differences….but I do know that my body feels and seems to be a bit different since I came off the 30 day cleanse. There are more subtle changes – perhaps that’s the right word for it.

One thing that has been on my mind a lot is how my approach to food, living and just being here has evolved over the past couple of years in particular. When I look back at that time frame I can see a lot of change in myself and my family.

It’s this day to day living that gets difficult at times for those of us walking the spiritual path – one word that has meant a lot to me over the years is ‘overcome’. Today I was pondering this word once again, as I mulled over another energetic pattern I wanted to be done with.

That pattern is one of fear.

We are all still tackling fear in our lives on so many levels – it feels as if it is coming at us from so many angles that it’s hard to keep them all out. But, it is worthwhile work to do – removing and breaking free of the pattern of fear. Where there is fear, there isn’t love – there actually isn’t much of anything – just a hole.

Another thing I have noticed lately is how I have been picking up fear from others. And this is yet another pattern I want to break free from. I can remember being like this all of my life and would cringe at the thought of being around people I knew to be fearful.

Right now I am trying to think of some words to describe how it feels to me…if I were to start with my stomach it’s as if there is an emptiness inside. Then my mind loses all focus on reality or the present moment and spiritually I tend to sense that I am depleted.

Like a dead or dying horse. Yet, I know this is not mine – this is how someone else’s fear (I have picked up) feels around me. My own fear – is totally different, that would be more of a reaction – it propels me into action.

Lots to think about here while I work through each of these important issues…I have fasted for the past couple of days and will do so again next week. It always gets things moving!

April

Originally published on The Pagan Diet blog.