Breaking Through the Shadow Mind....

I am fasting again today….it’s been an intermittent fasting week, one day eating and one day fasting. While I time my workouts (and milking goats, cooking, cleaning, writing, gardening! LOL) for my fasted days…it just feels much better that way. 

This week has seen more in the way of change for me – mostly in my mind (it's all in my mind, isn't it!). It’s as if I am breaking through back into the place I was in as a teenager. Which is a time of some great memories for me because I was certain I could do anything! LOL

Such is the young mind….of course over the years this 'frame of mind', thinking and certainty was pulled down, torn apart and held back by my experiences (read: mostly social relationships, jobs, negativity) but also through one pivotal event.

At age 20 or so I had glandular fever. I knew then it was life sapping and I related it back to vaccinations I was forced to endure a few months previously (my system was down etc.) in order to start a new job….

However, I guess I didn’t realize how much this and other viruses in our systems erode away at our minds as well. To be honest with you – in a matter of months after I had the initial infection, I was a shadow of myself.

And I have struggled to get that part of myself back ever since. Physically I have healed my body, regained my energy and come back from a lot over the years. They say the mind is the last thing to go - so is it the first thing to come back in a higher consciousness sort of way?

Either way, it was totally a mind thing that was hurt by this virus – because I knew without a doubt I could accomplish anything, I could be anything, I was resourceful, creative and I was a free spirit. I know that kind of sounds like me now as well….

But, back then, this energy was firmly fixed to my identity – I had no worries about my life or my future. I was here on this planet and I was living and that was all that mattered. 

Only this past week, have I felt that part of me rising up once again, into it's full stature, surrounding  me like a new energy. And I hope with all of my heart, that she takes the lead from now on.

April 

Originally published on The Pagan Diet blog.